Written By: Alfred Cough & Miles Miller
Directed By: Michael Watkins & Phillip Sgriccia
Previously on Smallville: Stuff Happened
We pick up right where we left off. Post Homecoming dance. There is a creppy stalker watching Lana in her room. Which honestly? Come on, stalker dude. Love yourself. Anyway he’s left a present for her on her bed. She unwraps it and a host of colorful butterflies come fluttering out of the box.
Ok real talk. 17 year old me, would have eaten that shit up, so no shade stalker dude even though you’re a stalker.
So Stalker dude get’s home and his mom is watching his weird stalker videos. Like any good mother she’s like, this is crazy. You need to pull your shit together so you’re going to go stay with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air. And by bel air she means military school. He claims he was out collecting more insects for his collection, and she’s like that’s cool, but your still going to military school.
Cut to his room, and there are hella bugs with meteor rocks in the display tanks, so we know where this is going. Stalker dude runs away bugs in tow. He gets into a car crash where the bugs swarm and infect him.
So The next day everyone is at the farmer’s market. Clark ended up being that year’s smallville scarecrow and Whitney pulls him aside to make sure that 1) Clark doesn’t nark. 2) To get lana’s meteor necklace back.
Lex, like any good concerned
boyfriend friend, notices clark noticing Lana, and is all wtf was up with you almost dying last night? Clark brushes it off and thanks lex again for saving him.
Now let me tell you why Lex is the real MVP. So he rolls over to Lana’s place. He very causally and effortlessly jedi mind fucks her into realizing that her bf was the one to string up Clark. Notices a picture of her wearing the meteor necklace, that he has. Then gives the necklace to Clark to give to Lana. Effectively helping Clark lock that down. Clark doesn’t give it to her because he is so useless. Instead he leaves in on her door mat, knocks on the door and then runs away.
Bruh if that’s not friendship than I don’t know what is.
So apparently when a bunch of meteor rock infected insects turn you into... well, a meteor rock infected insect that means you get to look like Christian Slater in Heathers. Which isn’t that bad of a trade off, in my opinion.
Because Stalker Slater is to back creeping up on Lana again, only this time doing it in person.
He asks Lana to work on a paper and she agrees . He then goes home and kills his mom, because something about a Pharaoh Spider. And then this happens.
So yeah. Nasty. John thinks that Stalker Slater isn’t really a bug. Martha counters like bitch have you met our son? Point.
Chloe and Clark Scooby it up at the Torch and figure out Stalker Slater deal. He’s going to mate with lana to have more Stalker Slaters. Clark and Stalker Slater have their showdown.
Lana’s boyfriend finds her in the aftermath wrapped up in Spider goo.
Freak of The Week
Stalker Slater obvi, since this was a pretty plot light episode.
There is a scene when he cut back to the Kent farm, and there is a establishing shot of the farm with some mooing cows. When he cut to Clark and John talking on the porch the cows continue to moo into the whole fucking scene. Like Clark says, “dad I’m scared” then “moooo”
Stalker Slater killing his mom was pretty crazy.
Should you watch?
Nah. You can skip it. It’s pretty boring and nothing of particular worth to the overarching plot happens. But if you want to check it out anyway here is where you can find it. http://vidzi.tv/8mccjyjf14n1.h…